Yours To Hold
by Kathryn Sparrow
Summary: Hemione returns to the future only to find that it'sa completely different one than she left behind.  People who were dead arealive again, people who were alive are now dead, and the man who she fell inlove with won't even speak to her. AU Eventually
1. Chapter 1

AN: So sorry about this being posted so many times, was being funny with formatting nd then deleting then reposting, I'm not exactly sure what happened. But each little bit of dialogue was separated by asterics and now they're gone, but there are little breaks in the dialogue, big spaces, and those are changes in scene. Dunno what happened with the formatting, I'm assuming it's a mac thing. Anyways, here's the story and please review!! even if you hate it, review!! "I love you." "You shouldn't. "We've no choice, she must go back." "Albus, her leaving will destroy everything." "That's the way it's supposed to be I'm afraid." "You're leaving me, aren't you?" "I have no choice." "I'll always love you." "I know." "I'm sorry, Hermione." "No, you're not Albus." "Hermione! She's back!" "Someone, get Madame Pomfrey!" "Hermione, open your eyes, please love, open your eyes!" "What's wrong with her?" "She's in a sort of a coma." "Will she be all right?" "I'm not sure." "Can she hear what we're saying?" "Yes, I believe she can." "Hermione, love, if you ever cared for me, you'd come back to me. I know you never came out and said that you loved me, but… I know that you did. I can see now why you never wanted to get attached… I guess you knew that you'd have to come back eventually, and you didn't know if I'd be here. Well, I'm here, and I'm waiting for you to come back to me. I've waited the past twenty-one years for you, I can wait a few more days, or months, or years if that's what it takes. Just come back to me, love. Please." "Sirius?" 


	2. Chapter 2

"Sirius?"

"Hermione, you're awake!" Sirius Black moved from his chair at Hermione's bedside to sit upon her hospital bed.

"Sirius… What happened?"

"You came back to us love, everything's okay now."

"I feel as if someone beat me over the head, multiple times." Hermione tried to sit up in the bed, but winced.

"Slow down, love." Sirius pushed her back down and brushed her hair out of her eyes. He stood up and placed a soft, lingering kiss on her forehead before moving towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Hermione said softly.

"I'm going to go and get Madame Pomfrey and tell her you're awake."

"How long have I been out?" She said, not sure if she really wanted to know the answer.

"About a week. Let me go and get her and then we'll really sit down and talk." He left the room, softly closing the door behind him.

Hermione settled back into the bed, and sighed. She finally looked around and noticed her surroundings. She appeared to be in what they used as the hospital for the Order in Grimmauld Place. When she had left the past, the Headquarters hadn't yet moved from Hogwarts to Sirius's late parents' home.

Even though she hadn't been separated from Sirius for more than a week, she still felt as if they had that full twenty-three years between them.

"Mister Black, you can wait outside, I need to talk to Hermione and really don't need you interfering." Hermione was abruptly taken from her thoughts by the door opening and Madam Pomfrey coming in.

"All right, Hermione, dear. How are you feeling?" Madam Pomfrey closed the door behind her and walked to Hermione's bed.

"I'm all right, my head hurts a bit, but other than that…" Hermione said softly as Madam Pomfrey ran a diagnostic wand over the length of Hermione's body.

She paused over Hermione's stomach and pulled out a different wand. She ran it over her stomach and nodded as different lights came up. "Yes, everything seems to be all right so far. You might experience some cramping, and also some bleeding, which has already started. You will be very emotional and moody, worse than you usually would during your menstrual cycle. Nothing to worry about though, you're past most of the symptoms."

Hermione sat up in the bed, feeling more than a little bit confused. "Cramping? Bleeding? What are you talking about?"

"O, my. Oh dear." Madam Pomfrey looked at her with concerned eyes, and sat down next to her on the bed. "Hermione, you lost the baby."

"What baby?" Hermione said softly.

"Oh dear." Madame Pomfrey said again. "When you were sent back, you lost your baby. I'd say you were about three months along. There wasn't any lasting damage."

Hermione settled back into the bed. "Pregnant?" The harsh reality of the situation was beginning to settle in. She had lost a baby she didn't even know she was carrying.

"I'm assuming you know who the father was?" Madam Pomfrey said softly.

"You said three months?" Madam Pomfrey nodded. "Yes, I do know then." _If it was less than that, well that would have been a problem._ She added to herself silently. _Guess it doesn't really matter now though._ She thought to herself again.

"I would recommend of course that you rest for the next few days. I am going to let Albus know that you are not capable of participating in any missions for at least two months. I don't want any extra stress on your body."

At the mention of Dumbledore Hermione grimaced and settled back into the bed.

"Would you like me to allow those waiting outside to come back in?" Madame Pomfrey sad as she moved away from Hermione's bedside.

"I'd like that, but," Hermione paused, "do you think you could not tell anyone about me… about… the baby I mean."

Madame Pomfrey looked apprehensive for a moment, but nodded all the same. "Of course, your privacy is very important to me." She walked towards the door, opened it, and ushered the group assembled outside in.

Harry, Ron, and Ginny were immediately at her bedside, hugging her and telling her how much she was missed. Soon, more people had filed in, including a one face that Hermione was more than shocked and completely overjoyed to see.

"James!" She tried to get up from the bed, but winced as a sharp pain shot through her abdomen. As he moved towards her she took in the changes that had affected him the last 23 years. His face was mostly the same as it had been twenty-three years before, although there were a few extra wrinkles that hadn't been there before. He had a five-o-clock shadow smattering his cheeks and chin, but his eyes…. His eyes were the same hazel that they had been before, except right now they were more green than brown; suggesting to those who knew him the best he was extremely overjoyed or sad, and at this moment Hermione assumed it was both.

"Don't get up, love." He leaned down and gave her a lingering kiss on the forehead. He didn't move away, rather sat down on the side of her bed and cupped the side of her face with his hand. "I missed you so much." He whispered so that only she could hear.

She looked into his eyes and smiled, feeling the electricity that had been between them before, and was obviously still there so many years later.

They moved apart slightly as someone behind them cleared their throat. James grabbed Hermione's hand, but didn't rise from his spot on her bed.

"Where's Sirius?" Hermione asked James, ignoring the questions from around the room. Right now all she wanted to do was cuddle up between James and Sirius like she used to.

The room was suddenly quiet. "He went on a mission for the Order, love." James said softly, stroking the back of her hand.

"What? He was just here and said he'd be right back." She bit her lip, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"Dumbledore came and got him right after he saw you." Harry said, looking between Hermione and James.

"Where did he go?" She asked, and after no one answered she asked again, a little more forcefully this time.

"He's doing something top secret for the order. As far as we know, only Dumbledore and Sirius know what's going on." James explained.

"He didn't tell you?" She asked James.

He shook his head sadly. "He hasn't told me a lot of things since you left." 

James looked like he was going to say more, but was interrupted by Madame Pomfrey coming back into the room and proceeding to kick everyone out. Everyone left, barring James and Madame Pomfrey. "Poppy, can I have a moment with Hermione? I promise it won't take more than a minute." She looked as if she were going to object, but consented and left the room at James' pained look.

"What do you mean he hasn't told you a lot of things since I left?" She asked softly, afraid of the answer.

"I mean, you were the only thing holding Sirius and me together, and when you di… left," he fumbled over the word, but then took a deep breath and continued. "Sirius and I haven't so much as spoken to each other more than a few words every few months since you left." It was then that Hermione noticed the deep sadness that was leaving James' eyes hallow and empty.

"You mean that in twenty-three years, you haven't spoken to him?" A tear ran down her cheek and James wiped it away, shaking his head slowly. "James, I'm so sorry." She held open her arms and he immediately folded himself into them, wrapping her arms around her tightly and burying his face into her neck. "I love you so much James, I'm so sorry that I hurt you." She sobbed.

"O, Mione, it wasn't you, it wasn't your fault, I promise. Sirius and my relationship was completely based upon you, and once you weren't there, it just wasn't worth it anymore."

"God, James… I'm so sorry." She enfolded him in her arms once more. After a moment, she asked quietly, "So you married Lily?"

James stiffened and pulled away. "She died, Hermione. She died three months after Harry was born-"

"On Halloween?" Hermione interrupted. She hadn't been able to change much, she had only succeeded in accelerating Lily Potter's death by a year.

"How did you know?" He looked into her eyes, his brows furrowed in confusion and suspicion.

Hermione shrugged it off and brought him back to her. "Lucky guess."

He seemed to accept this answer, as he continued, "I was left with a three month old baby, I had no idea how to handle it on my own, I shouldn't have ever married Lily, it was just… After you left, it was so hard on all of us. Sirius wasn't speaking to me, he was fucking Remus every night, I was only and so I got drunk one night and we- we-"

"Slept together," Hermione supplied as he seemed to stutter over the words, momentarily ignoring the part about Sirius and Remus; she sensed that James needed to tell her the story to make himself feel better if nothing else.

"We slept together and she ended up pregnant, and there was nothing I could do but marry her. Please don't be angry with me." He looked up at her pleadingly, and the insecure twenty year old came out once again.

"James, how could I be angry with you? You thought I was deadHermione.hhhha, Sirius was being a right jerk, and you went to someone you knew cared about you unconditionally. There is no reason for me to be angry. Besides, Harry was born and that outweighs any wrongs." She said soothingly.

"You always knew what to say." He whispered, and leaned in to kiss her. His lips were warm and soft against her, and with a little moan she opened her mouth and allowed him access. The kiss started off slow and languid, seemingly allowing them both to get reacquainted with the other, but soon it turned into a heated kiss, filled with desire.

As James reached behind her head to bury his hand in her thick curls, the door swung open and Madame Pomfrey appeared. "Potter! Get off my patient right this instant!"

James and Hermione jumped apart quickly and James stood up, adjusting his pants discreetly. "Sorry Poppy. Leaving now." He said, grinning roguishly. He leaned down and gave Hermione one last kiss on the lips, one more lingering look and left the room. 

"Miss Granger…" Hermione steeled herself for one of the famous Pomfrey lectures, but suddenly Madame Pomfrey's face softened into a kind smile. "I have half a mind to admonish you for your relations with Mr. Potter so soon during your recovery, but that is the happiest I have seen him in over twenty years."

Hermione relaxed back into the bed, and smiled, resisting a girlish squeal. "Really?"

"Really. Now, I have a dreamless sleep that I would like for you to take. It'll help you sleep through the night. In the morning we'll start you on some chicken broth, and try to build your strength back up."

Hermione tried not to scowl at the notion of chicken broth as she took the steaming goblet from Pomfrey's hand, and drank it one go. Soon enough she was settling back into the pillows, and was fast asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

When James came into Hermione's hospital room the next morning, she was already sitting up in bed, spooning a clear liquid into her mouth. She smiled at him widely as he walked towards her bed.

"Good morning!" She said brightly and patted a spot next to her and placed her bowl onto her bedside table.

He sat down and leaned into her, kissing her softly on the lips. "Good morning beautiful. How'd you sleep?"

"Madame Pomfrey gave me Dreamless Sleep, so very well. How about you?" Hermione asked, grabbing his hand and holding it tightly.

"Not so well." At her concerned look, he continued. "There was a Death Eater attack last night."

"Oh no," she said barely above a whisper. He finally made eye contact with her and it was then that she noticed the dark circles under his eyes. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah. We lost a few lower level members, but there were more casualties on the Death Eater side. It was successful, just a long night." He leaned back against her pillows and she buried her face in his neck, wrapping an arm around his middle.

"And Sirius?" She asked after a moment.

James sighed deeply. "He still isn't back. After nights like last night he doesn't return for a few hours, sometimes a few days."

"Why do you think that is?" She looked up into his face, but he once again refused to make eye contact with her.

"I really don't know, Mione. I told you last night, he doesn't tell me anything. Usually when he comes back, he goes straight to Remus, and they don't surface for at least three days."

"Remus?" she questioned, what James had mentioned last night about Sirius and Remus came back to her.

"They fuck." He said with no emotion in his voice.

She let out a harsh laugh. "I gathered that, but why? Are they together now?"

"As far as I know, neither of them has been with another witch, or wizard for that matter since you d-died," he stumbled over the word. "Remus won't stay in the same room as me either. I think he's ashamed of everything."

"Were they together at Hogwarts? Before I came?"

"Not that I knew of. I'm beginning to think that they were though."

"James, I think you should talk to Sirius." She said quietly after a pause.

"I don't think he'd talk to me." James said quietly and pulled her closer against his chest.

"Then I'll talk to him."

James was silent for a moment. "Am I not enough for you?"

She turned around to face him, and took his hands into hers. She looked him directly in the eyes and said, "I love you James, more than you know… But we had this conversation before, it was the reason we were all together in the first place. We decided, with Sirius, that we were all missing something when it was just the two of us. I love you James, and I love Sirius. I can't be with just one of you; it's not fair to any of us."

Remus was sitting on the foot of his bed reading a book when Sirius burst into the room. The book was flung to the floor as Sirius attacked Remus with his lips.

"When did you get back?" Remus asked breathlessly while Sirius was busy licking down his throat.

"A few minutes ago. Had to debrief with Dumbledore." Sirius said and then bit down hard on Remus's ear.

"Where were you?" Remus asked.

Sirius ran his hands up under Remus's shirt and kissed him hard again. "Same as always."

"Were you there last night at the revel?" Remus asked and grunted as Sirius grabbed his growing erection.

"Yes." Sirius breathed into his ear and ground his hips against Remus's. "I didn't kill anyone." He said, sensing Remus's question before he even asked it.

"Sirius, hold on." Remus pushed him away and stood up from the bed.

"What's wrong?" Sirius said harshly, his eyes narrowing.

"I think you need to go talk to James." Remus said slowly.

Sirius stood up from the bed and began to unbutton his shirt, moving towards the wardrobe to get a clean one. "No." He said harshly, pealing the shirt away from a bloody wound on his side.

"Why not? Hermione's back now."

"I know that Remus." Sirius said softly. He had now removed his shirt and turned to face Remus. "Heal this for me?" he asked.

Remus looked towards where he was indicating. There was a large gash running up the side of his stomach. It looked like Sirius had performed a charm to stop the bleeding, but it was still necessary to completely heal the wound.

"Hermione's back now." Remus said as he ran his wand along the wound, muttering a pain lessening charm before he performed the more painful skin knitting charm.

"I am well aware of that Remus. I did sit with her for a week before she woke up." Sirius said wincing slightly as Remus began the charm.

"Why won't you at least talk to her then?" 

"She'd hate me." Sirius said softly. Remus looked up at him quickly and could have sworn he saw tears in the dark wizard's eyes before Sirius turned away quickly.

"You don't know that." Remus said softly, bringing Sirius into his arms.

"Yes I do. James would hate me as well. You're the only person who understands Remus. You've been in the same situation I am. What with being underground with Fenrir and his pack and all." Sirius buried his face into Remus's neck, nipping it lightly.

Remus growled, and answered, "Siri, I love you, but they do as well. I know I'd lose you but I also know that you're not happy with me."

"Remus…" Sirius started but Remus interrupted.

"Go talk to them. I know for a fact that they're in the hospital wing."

Sirius's eyes flashed with jealousy. "Are they together?"

"I believe so, but not in the sexual sense of the word." Remus pushed him towards the door.

"Remus, wait. They won't even give me a chance, not with…" Sirius trailed off and motioned towards his arm. 

Remus looked down, and took Sirius's left hand and brought it to his mouth. He kissed a trail up towards the scarred flesh on Sirius's left arm. "If they love you, they'll understand, just like I do." He kissed the Dark Mark softly and then moved to Sirius's lips.

"I'll go to them in the morning." Sirius mumbled against Remus's lips, and Remus deepened the kiss. "I'll definitely go to them in the morning." He said and pushed Remus on to the bed and covered the werewolf's body with his own.


	4. Chapter 4

"Are you sure you want to do this, Hermione? I mean, what if it doesn't work?"

"Yes, Harry. I'm sure. And it will work." Hermione said, not looking up from the huge tome she was intently looking over.

"But…" Harry didn't continue and she looked up at him.

She finally looked up and saw the note of fear in his eyes. "What are you afraid of?"

He shrugged and turned away from her, acting as if he was looking for a book on one of the bookshelves that lined the walls of the library in Grimmauld Place. "It's dumb really."

Hermione rolled her eyes and moved to stand behind him. She wrapped her arms around him and stood on her tip toes kiss him on the neck softly. "I love you, if that's what you're worried about."

He turned around quickly to face her. "Then why won't you be with me?"

She sighed and pulled away from him. "It would complicate things to much, Harry. And we don't really have time to talk about it."

"How so?" He said sharply, ignoring the last part of her statement. "We both love each other-"

"It's not that, Harry!" She interrupted, "I love you, so much, but things are too out of control right now to begin a relationship."

"If you're so adamant about us not being together, how can you be sure that the spell will tie us together?" He sat down next to her and pulled her hand into his.

"Because, no matter what happens, I know that you're my soul mate."

"The test spell didn't work for you though." He said softly, looking into her eyes.

She didn't know what to say to him. He was right. When they had performed the spell to see whether she was his soul mate, it hadn't provided any results. But when they performed it on Harry, the white lights from his wand had surrounded Hermione, just like they were supposed to. She had to admit she was a little nervous about this snag in the plan, but she figured the worst that would happen was that the spell wouldn't work. She shook the thoughts from her mind.

"Do you trust me, Harry?"

He looked at her seriously for a moment, then leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. "More than anything, Hermione."

"Then let's do this."

She stood up from the table, and motioned that he do the same. She led the way to the center of the library, and stood facing Harry, with her wand drawn pointed towards him. He mirrored her position.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

"Let's do it." Harry said solemnly.

Hermione took a deep breath, and moved her wand in the way that they had practiced, saying "_Animus Reus._"

Harry did the same a moment later. "Did it work?" he asked.

"I don't know. The book didn't say how we would know if it did or not. I suppose we can try calling to each other?" She offered.

"Sure." Harry nodded.

"All right," Hermione walked over to the book and read quickly through the page with the spell on it once again. "It says that all we have to do in order to call to the other is merely say the word Reperio, with or without a wand. It's designed so that in the most dire of situations you can still find our soul mate."

"All right. I'll go first then." Hermione nodded and Harry closed his eyes. "_Reperio." _Harry disappeared for a moment, and then suddenly there were hands on Hermione's shoulders, turning her around.

He grinned at her. "It worked."

She smiled and leaned up to give him a quick peck on the lips, which he quickly made deeper by burying his hands in her hair and running his tongue along the seam of her lips.

She pulled away. "Not now, Harry. I need to try."

She moved to stand across from him. She closed her eyes, and held her wand in front of her, figuring that she'd need all the power she could get to make sure she was taken to him. "_Reperio."_

Harry watched her shimmer away, and waited for her to appear next to him as he had for her.

How long had he been gone? It couldn't have been more than fifteen seconds. Well, it was certainly no more than the two minutes he had been waiting.

It then set in, and he wasn't sure whether to be upset or worried. Hermione was obviously not coming back; he wasn't her soul mate. Then who was?

Hermione opened her eyes, and found that she was still in the library in Grimmauld Place. She looked around for Harry, but instead of finding him, she found two men, locked in an intimate embrace against one of the bookshelves.

She stifled her gasp, one of the men seemed to be Harry, but when had another come into the room? How long had she been gone? Harry hadn't been gone for more than ten seconds.

She began to move backwards towards the door, intending to make a clean exit from the room and not interrupt Harry. But she tripped over a chair and fell to the floor, making an incredibly loud noise. She cursed softly, but the noise made the two men break apart.

"Who the bloody hell are you?" The boy who didn't look like Harry said loudly, and she immediately recognized him as a young Sirius Black, and on closer inspection, the boy who looked like Harry, definitely was not Harry. It was James Potter.

"Shit."

Reperio: Find

Animus Reus: Soul Bound


End file.
